


Inkblots

by ATwistOfLemonLyman



Series: The Gods Have Conspired [7]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Gen, Oneshot, Psychology, Rosslyn, Stream of Consciousness, cw blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 02:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8827486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ATwistOfLemonLyman/pseuds/ATwistOfLemonLyman
Summary: Rosslyn. Josh's mind wanders to 1970.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As with most of what I write this fits into my The Gods Have Conspired universe but can be read on its own.

   Josh is having a difficult time staying connected to what is going on around him. He wants to be aware of his surroundings, to be able to call out for help. But all he can think about as sirens wail and red lights flash is how hard it is to breathe, how much his chest hurts, and how much the blood on the concrete looks like an inkblot.   

  His mind begins to wander through memories dulled by time, made hazier by the pain.

* * *

   

  Rorschach. It’s a funny name, like one of Joanie’s composers.

Rorschach.

-schach, like Bach.

  “Josh, what about this one?” asks the man in the thick horn-rimmed glasses.

  Josh wants to say “fire”.

  They all look like fire and billowing clouds of smoke, every single one.

  Fire and smoke.

  Those are no longer images that follow him around everywhere. It’s been months since Joanie’s death, but his parents are still concerned, Aunt Edie and Aunt Julia are concerned.  He can see that they’re worried and that that’s why he’s sitting in that room, being asked to talk, draw pictures, look at ink splattered on white paper.

  He’s there because of the fire so it’s all he can see.

 

  Josh cooperates with Dr. Katz, because he hates to worry his parents, they’ve looked so sad for so long and he doesn’t want to make that last any longer than it has to. Maybe if he answers the man’s questions the visits will stop; and maybe his mother won’t have to go to a room not unlike this one with another bespectacled man anymore.

 

  He talks. 

  He lies.

  Cloud.

  I’m fine now.

  Spider.

  I don’t think about the fire anymore.

  Two dogs.

  I know I didn’t abandon her.

  

  Butterfly.

  You don’t need to worry about me.

   “What do you see, Josh?”

  Anything but a monochrome conflagration.

 

* * *

 

Josh looks up from the scarlet inkblot. 

  
He sees Toby, and, for a brief moment, he feels anchored to the present, before he lets himself fall and memories begin to tug at him once more.

**Author's Note:**

> This was brought on by an image that I saw of what blood looked like when splattered on different surfaces. The image of blood splattered on concrete reminded me of ink blot tests and I thought that if Josh was taken to a psychologist in 1970 it was certainly possible that they would have him look at those ink blot cards.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ^_^


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